I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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