you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
