Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
