I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
