Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
