she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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