she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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