omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
