Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
