yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dear god my vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
