My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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