I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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