Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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