omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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