Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
