I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
