I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
