You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
