She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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