If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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