as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
