im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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