You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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