You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
