so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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