suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
