once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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