Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
