happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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