she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
