Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
