She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
