Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
