Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want her autograph on my taint
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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