I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
