If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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