OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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