Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That was an excessively violent trivia night
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
