I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
