Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
