And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
