Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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