Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
