Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
