Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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