pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
