The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
