Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish you could order shots online.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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