I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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