I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
